What I'm hiding
I spend hours on your portraits, looking into your eyes, the shape of your smiles and your hesitations. I spend hours listening to your recordings, transposing what you told me in cafés, at home, under a tree or sitting on a table. I spend hours translating from one language to the other what makes you who you are.
Your stories resonate in me, more and more as I take your pictures, as I listen to you, transpose and translate your words. Like a story you capture deeper and deeper as you read it everyday. You highlight your faith in life, you give me new perspectives and sometimes, you press where the wound still feels tight. So I come to think… is there anything I hide from myself? Or from others? I think we can be an open book to those who can read in our language as much as a liar in the eyes of those who didn’t receive the code to crack us. So here’s part of the code on what I’m hiding from you.
I’m hiding the reasons for which I started this project. I’m hiding what I’m looking for. I’m hiding how far I’m hoping to take it. I’m hiding my own answers, for now. And in a way, I already told you everything, if you can read in my language.
I’m hiding that the geometry shaping my days has been beaten down. I’m hiding that I had no other choice but to turn towards you and try to understand human kind.
I’m hiding that I’m looking for the person whose answers will make me fall from my imaginary horse. Although I’ve never fallen so often than since I started this project. All of you, in your own beautiful ways, made me trip.
And I’m hiding that I hope, one day, your looks and hesitations will gather in a big book telling your stories, your hopes, like a collective prayer to the Universe.
As per the secrets I have from myself, I think I’m one of these people who answer “I do not hide anything from myself”. And yet, these last few months, new wishes revealed themselves to me. Wishes for life that I thought I would never be interested in, after claiming all these years “this isn’t for me”. I most likely hid we can hope to have it all.
I hid my ambition, the happiness we are all entitled to taste as a human being. Now I’m the sole master on board, I want everything. And thanks to your stories, I’m walking towards mine. When secrets meet gratitude...