I spent many weeks trying to define trust, without being able to overcome my torn out thoughts, like the drafts I got rid of. I think about the arch of your smiles collapsing when I’m asking you: “what is trust?”.
Memories of disillusions, betrayals and other abandonments. Broken trust destroys the comfort of our habits and certainties. And it’s hard to talk about trust without bringing back the bitter moments when it slipped away.
"Trust is surrendering to the Universe"
But yesterday, I made Isik’s portrait. And her responses, like the conversation that followed inspired me. Trust is surrendering to the Universe. It’s laying down one's weapons. The moment where the warrior inside accepts not to give battle anymore and to go with the flow. Without knowing the destination nor the steps, progress is being made.
We can trust ourselves, our own resources. I learnt along the way they are the only ones I truly trust and ever will. We can also trust our friends, our own spiritual coven. You already know who you are, you, the daughters of the Universe. You’ve saved me more than once when my weapons were taken away from me.
We can finally trust life, the way it purges ours to let new souls in, new opportunities come up and new destinations present themselves. This year, there’s been a big spring cleaning and since then, I redecorated the walls. I let light in, a lot of light. Some even came with the sun under their arms.
Since this light has come, I’ve been tempted many times to let fear take over: what if it went back to dark? What if I lost sight of this? It doesn’t matter. The Universe is here and it’s important to let it do its job, with trust. We only have to ask for what we want. The tools used in space are not our responsibility.
Have faith. Have trust. There’ll be help along the way.