"I need a god or a goddess"

What is trust for you?

Sarah - I think it’s a little bit of blindness. To trust someone, you need to be able to put your ego aside. So sometimes, it can be a strong act, but sometimes it’s a weak one to give your trust to someone. Then there is confidence in oneself, which is something that comes from your guts. It’s a genuine act of pure love.

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"I need a god or a goddess"


What does it mean to be a woman?

Sarah - Being a woman, at least for me, doesn’t mean much unless you really think about it. And when you really think about it, it becomes a struggle. Because in our society, it’s difficult. It’s a society that cuts off your intuitive capacities, your ability to act without explanation or reasoning. And at the same time, instinctively, I want to say that being a woman is giving life, becoming a mother. But there are a lot of women who are women and decide not to procreate, not to give life and not to become mothers. And then there are all the ones who don’t get to decide. So for me, being a woman and femininity are two things that should be distinct from one another. And you know, I’ve lost a lot of weight. And when I had gained all this weight, I didn’t feel like a woman anymore. I called it my « Adipous complex ». And this morning, before the wedding when I was getting ready, I was thinking to myself “today, you’re a woman”. And it’s powerful, it’s a moment where you get your power back. There is beauty that goes beyond the stereotype. Being a woman is being powerful. Being beautiful. Being creative, generous and receptive.  

What’s left when everything falls apart?

Sarah - Life. Everything! There’s a saying in English that goes “Necessity is the mother of all needs”. It’s also the mother of creation. When you’ve got nothing left, you get to work and you create. When there’s no being left, there’s doing. And that’s how you move forward, how you learn. Learning, discovering, the pleasure of discovering, yes… but you know, that requires some goddamn juice!

Is there anything you hide from yourself? Or from others?

Sarah - God. I need a god or a goddess. Despite the acts, the smiles, the jokes, I need something more. I need a reason for all this. And it’s not easy. There is a lot of people who are not ready to hear it, because they don’t have questions. I think I had my magic thoughts, to a lot of people. To myself, no… I revealed it to myself. I transgressed a lot of things in my life, I was in transgression a lot and it’s quite a destructive behaviour. But all that is because I need to understand who I am, and why, and where I’m going, how.

Is there anything you’re particularly grateful for?

Sarah - Poetry. Words. What words can teach us, how they make us travel, transcend us, change us. The power of language… In many religions we say God is the verb. Maybe my God, the one who makes me feel alive, is words. The power of words and the magic in these words.